I'm A Lifesaver

I am not a lifeguard I am a lifesaver

Everyday I save myself from not drowning in drama, paperwork, bullshit and insanity.

And why is it called a lifeguard, you don't guard you save, if you guarded people, people wouldn't need you to save them at all...

I'm a lifesaver, bitches!

Jobs and Men

I always laugh at how well I can land a job but I can't land a man...

Well, that's not necessarily true.
I can land a man, just not a good one.
As for my job, it ain't that great either.
But unlike a man, my job pays me.